her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
