Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
