our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
