There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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