how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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