Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
