i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
