Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
