I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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