Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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