Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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