just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.