Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.

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(702): I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know. http://tfl.nu/ro3k

Replies (68) Good night (9485) Bad night (904)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.

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(201): I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork. http://tfl.nu/8epk

Replies (16) Good night (1112) Bad night (5163)
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(302): View more from Delaware

He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.

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(302): He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before. http://tfl.nu/latf

Replies (13) Good night (893) Bad night (4198)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."

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(202): I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking." http://tfl.nu/oftj

Replies (17) Good night (7823) Bad night (1057)
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(904): View more from Florida

Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?

(1-904): View more from Florida

six.

(904): View more from Florida

Oh, I thought it was higher.

(1-904): View more from Florida

No, that would be the Matt's

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(904): Another one? Damn, how many David's is that? (1-904): six. (904): Oh, I thought it was higher. (1-904): No, that would be the Matt's http://tfl.nu/8llg

Replies (33) Good night (6660) Bad night (1505)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.

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(843): I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter. http://tfl.nu/3aqn

Replies (6) Good night (2705) Bad night (858)
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(207): View more from Maine

He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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(207): He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ. http://tfl.nu/rtl1

Replies (25) Good night (9410) Bad night (915)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

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(317): Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake http://tfl.nu/x5vz

Replies (22) Good night (1699) Bad night (4548)
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(631): View more from New York

Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao

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(631): Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao http://tfl.nu/axpp

Replies (7) Good night (1375) Bad night (662)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning

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(412): we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning http://tfl.nu/vjbm

Replies (7) Good night (3127) Bad night (625)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"

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(864): I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY" http://tfl.nu/isd1

Replies (7) Good night (1780) Bad night (421)
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(510): View more from California

You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.

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(510): You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us. http://tfl.nu/8vs9

Replies (7) Good night (560) Bad night (694)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.

(303): View more from Colorado

That's all I've ever wanted.

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(307): I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up. (303): That's all I've ever wanted. http://tfl.nu/ydlb

Replies (6) Good night (1196) Bad night (326)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.

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(306): Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3yus

Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (203)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."

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(732): Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run." http://tfl.nu/l7f2

Replies (0) Good night (483) Bad night (182)

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