Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
