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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He was trying to put me in handcuffs.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  You have my attention.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Winning.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.

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• (310): View more from California

  and you fell through a lawn chair

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