Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?