I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
