I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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