i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
