some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
