i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
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You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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