Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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