How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize