So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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