im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize