If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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