If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We got so high we made milksteak
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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