Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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