do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
