its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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