OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
