On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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