Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
