Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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