Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Someone came in the potted fern
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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