I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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