all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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