Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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