So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
