my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
