i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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