Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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