this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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