I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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