It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
