I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
