all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
