Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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