So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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