ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
