Pappa wants mamma naked
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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