i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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