the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
