So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
