Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
