I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
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