I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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