Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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