I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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