I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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