I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You made out with two different species that night
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
