I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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