matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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