okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
