Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
