do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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