Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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