Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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