don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
