I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
