I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
