My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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